First, I want to thank all of you for your encouraging comments, your prayers and your continual support. It means so much to me to know I have so many standing behind me and giving me strength to press on!
I am convinced that to fear the Lord is easy to talk about... but quite another thing to walk out. Proverbs 3:7 "Be not wise in your own eyes, fear the Lord and turn away from evil." I am learning that to fear God is to trust Him at ALL times in EVERY situation. Recognizing that He is God, and I am not. But to trust like that... is tough. Not because God is questionable- He is unbelievably faithful! Even when we are not. But it's tough because it is such habit to operate out of our own, limited, understanding and finite power to reason.
Today my trust was put to the test. It was a simple practice day. Nothing special. But during my practice matches with my teammate, Khatuna, I did not shoot to my standards. Immediately the doubts and fears invaded. It was a real struggle. But thanks be to God, He gives me strength in my weakness. It is through the battles you see His faithfulness. But we walk by faith. It's not a smooth and easy path. It is believing - the substance of things not seen, the evidence of thing hoped for. I trust God that He will direct my paths as I compete here in China. Even when things aren't looking so great. I have been crucified with Christ, therefore I no longer live for me but for Him. So I also no longer shoot for me, but for His glory. So along with dying to self, I am also dying to my doubts and fears and I have decided to walk (and shoot) in a constant trust in Him. And may He mold my heart to follow these words.